I Have Confidence In Me
What will this day be like… I wonder.
What will my future be… I wonder.
It could be so exciting, to be out in the world, to be free.
My heart should be wildly rejoicing. Oh, what’s the matter with me?
One of my favorite musicals is the Sound of Music.
From the picturesque views of the Alps to Maria making the von Trapp children clothes out of curtains, there is something pure and human about the story.
I’ll never forget when Maria first leaves the Abbey; she’s excited but terrified. And how cute is Julie Andrews singing and throwing her bag up and down, side to side?!
Then, as if time itself stops Maria in her tracks, she is inches away from the gate to the bazillion square foot home of the von Trapp family.
Maria was wide eyed and bushy tailed at the chance to leave all she had ever known, but, come on, that’s freaking terrifying.
Much like our own experiences, Maria reaches a pivotal point in her personal life where she knows she has to expand her limits or she may never change.
I’ve always longed for adventure,
To do the things I’ve never dared.
Now here I’m facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?
Fear is a natural component of confidence. If we don’t face challenges, situations that test us and make us stop and think what am I doing? and why?, Then how do we grow? How do we learn?
Confidence is the result of actively choosing to accept our fears and allowing them to motivate us to move forward instead of paralyzing us.
First, we have to recognize what it is that terrifies us. Maria hits it on the head when she gives us insight as to why she’s scared.
Oh, I must stop these doubts,
All these worries.
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back!
I must dream of the things I am seeking.
I am seeking the courage I lack.
When we start to think of fear as an ally, we can more easily recognize when we have the option to choose how we use fear to our advantage.
That is where we meet confidence.
Confidence is the reward of seeking courage, even when we lack courage.
An article from Psychology Today outlines three different aspects of confidence: belief in our competence, belief in our ability to learn and problem solve, and the belief in our own intrinsic worth.
1. Competence is defined as “the ability to do something successfully or efficiently”.
Maria had never done anything before entering the Abbey. Then, there she was leaving the Abbey. The entire world was before her. She had no idea what to think. All she knew was that she had to overcome the feelings she was having to learn something new about herself.
2. If we believe we can learn and problem solve with little effort, it’s easier to digest whatever it is we are trying to do.
Maria tells us her internal dialogue, which she does throughout the entire musical. She is not afraid to ask questions and try to understand why she feels the way she does. She takes it day by day and does her best to find something to laugh at or sing to all along the way. (I don’t know about you, but this always helps me).
3. The last aspect the article talks about is how our belief in our own intrinsic worth affects our confidence.
This one is a bit tricky. Self-esteem can fluctuate, so it is safe to say our confidence fluctuates as well.
Maria’s inner dialogue offers insight into our own struggles with confidence.
When we are excited but nervous at the prospect of anything new, it is so easy to turn around and forget all about it.
The journey, however, lies in running right through that veil of fear and getting to the other side.
And sometimes, we may not feel like we have enough confidence to get through something. “Fake it until you make it” is pretty useful in these times.
It’s not disingenuous; it’s telling yourself I can do this even if I don’t feel like I can.
The courage to serve them with reliance,
Face my mistakes without defiance.
Show them I’m worthy
And while I show them
I’ll show me!
There is nothing wrong with feeling “less than.” Anxiety and fear come from places we don’t always understand. But guess what… you don’t have to understand them to face them head on.
Just look how it turned out for Maria.